The Lone Ranger and Tonto went camping in the desert. After they got their
tent all set up, both men fell sound asleep.

Some hours later, Tonto wakes the Lone Ranger and says, ‘Kemo Sabe, look towards sky, what you see? ‘

‘The Lone Ranger replies, ‘I see millions of stars.’

‘What that tell you?’ asked Tonto.

The Lone Ranger ponders for a minute then says, ‘Astronomically
speaking, it tells me there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets.

Astrologically, it tells me that Saturn is in Leo.

Time wise, it appears to be approximately a quarter past three in the morning.

Theologically, the Lord is all-powerful and we are small and insignificant.
Meteorologically, it seems we will have a beautiful day tomorrow.

What’s it tell you, Tonto?’
‘You dumber than buffalo chips. It means someone stole the tent.

OLYMPIC FUNNIES
Here are some comments made by NBC sports commentators during the 2008 Summer Olympics that they would like to take back:

Paul Hamm, Gymnast: “I owe a lot to my parents, especially my mother and father.”

Boxing Analyst: “Sure there have been injuries, and even some deaths in boxing, but none of them really that serious.”

Softball announcer: “If history repeats itself, I should think we can expect the same thing again.”In fact you can see it all over their faces.”