Ordering a pizza in the future…

Hello! Aurora’s pizza?


No sir, it’s Google’s pizza.

So I dialed the wrong number?

No sir, Google bought Aurora’s.

OK. I’d like to place an order please.

Well sir, did you want the usual?

The usual?  Do you know me?

According to our caller ID, the last 12 times, you ordered pizza with
cheeses, sausage, and thick crust.

OK!

May I suggest to you this time ricotta, arugula with dry tomato?

What?  I hate vegetables.

Your cholesterol is not good.

How do you know?

Through the subscribers guide. We have the result of your blood tests for
the last 7 years.

Okay, but I do not want that on my pizza, I already take cholesterol
medicine.

You have not taken the medicine regularly. Four months ago, you only
purchased 30 tablets on the Drugsale Network.

I bought more from another drugstore

It’s not showing on your credit card.

I paid in cash.

But you did not withdraw that much cash according to your bank statement.

I have other sources of cash.

This is not showing as per your last tax form unless you bought them from
an undeclared income source.

WHAT THE HECK? Enough! I’m sick of Google, Facebook, Twitter, WhatsApp.
I’m going to an island without internet, where there is no cell phone line
and no one to spy on me.

I understand sir, but you need to renew your passport; it expired 5 weeks
ago.